141: wet lilacs
“There’s nothing more educational than desiring something.” Marlowe Granados on movies in bed, leaving room for surprise, and more
Marlowe Granados is an writer, filmmaker, and painter. Her debut novel, Happy Hour, is sharp and often funny, glamorous and chillingly honest. I first met Marlowe a few years ago when I reached out to ask her about writing for the editorial platform of Toronto’s VSP Consignment, where she was the editor. One of my first editors, she was encouraging and direct, which made me want to work hard to impress her. What I respect most about Marlowe is that she is a woman who stands on business and is not afraid to be realistic about what it means to be an artist. I always love her tough love responses to the queries sent into her advice column, Designs for Living. I was very excited when she agreed to do a guest post for the newsletter. It’s as charming as you’d expect. Here’s Marlowe:
This time of year always stretches me so thin. The week I decided to document all the things I saw and consumed was also the week I was in the midst of emotional upheaval. This is good for this purpose, because when I’m upset I often like to escape. The tone of my upheaval was set by listening to Juna by Clairo over and over again. It rained a lot in Toronto and I walked to my studio listening to Juna and stopping to smell wet lilacs on the way. During the spring I wear Universal Flowering’s Lilac No. 4, which I believe someone on Fragrantica called a “a dirty and fleshy” floral scent.
I watched Joanna Hogg’s Souvenir Part II on Mubi. I love looking at Honor Swinton Byrne’s face and the particularly British palette of the Souvenir films (diptych?). She’s so successful at creating a visual atmosphere of the eighties and the costuming is lived in, which cannot be said for most stylish films. In a way, I prefer Part II because it’s the development of Julie’s artistic ambitions…a künstlerroman, if you will.
I love spending time in bed, I also love getting sleep in the double digits. I don’t know how I manage to do it, but I find ways to see friends, bop around, watch films, write, and sleep a lot. Watching two movies back-to-back from bed is my favourite thing to do. People are shocked to find out I have two televisions in my house. I just don’t understand…I’m not going to watch something on my laptop? Am I in university? I’m not going to use a projector because that would require leaving one wall blank and I have enough art to hang. After Souvenir Part II, I watched Olivier Assayas’s Summer Hours. I think my reticence about plot stems from watching so many meandering, contemplative French films. Gentle, easy as it goes, etc.
I had to go on a long train journey to the Nation’s Capital (Ottawa, Canada’s Washington D.C.). The soundtrack for my ride was a playlist I listened to writing my latest draft. I’m a huge fan of Molly Burch. When I’m heartbroken, I’m listening to a lot of Molly Burch and Angel Olsen and Cornelia Murr. It’s funny because I followed Molly on Instagram and when she followed me back I was so star struck, I messaged her being like MOLLY BURCH YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS TO ME. She was so shocked! She recently announced she is quitting music and as much as I understand why, I’m bereft. Romantic Images is one of my favourite albums of hers, lyrically she’s such a yearner… a real romance addict. “I want you more than I want control”, “I chase the feeling of being your favourite / that’s why even when it hurts, I’ll stay on / like it’s my calling.” See, in the debate of would you rather desire or be desired, DESIRING is so much more interesting. There’s nothing more educational than desiring something.
On each of my nightstands I have a pile of five or six books. I never used to be like this, reading novels piecemeal, but my mind has been harried and in writing mode so it’s sometimes better to pick up different things for variation. On the train I finished reading Letters on Cézanne by Rilke, it’s a collection of letters Rilke wrote to his wife Clara in 1907 when he visited a Cézanne exhibition almost every day: “Surely all art is the result of one’s having been in danger, of having gone through an experience all the way to the end, to where no one can go any further.”
I was staying at the Fairmont Château Laurier and arrived in Ottawa too late to swim at the art deco pool, which I had been looking forward to. I much prefer old, most likely haunted hotels. It’s why I love staying at the Hollywood Roosevelt. I was only in the city to go to an appointment at an embassy, so if I must travel I like to go all out. I ordered room service for dinner (which is again, a reason to stay at a hotel) and I woke up at 7am the next morning to go down to the pool to wade around and calm my nerves, while two older women did morning laps. The one thing I would say about my stay is I was disappointed the hotel cable didn’t have Turner Classic Movies.
After my appointment, I had time to go to the National Gallery of Canada. I don’t like to look at a museums catalogue ahead of time, and enjoy turning a corner and being surprised. I didn’t expect very much, but I have to say I loved the permanent collection. I’ve been doing a lot of museums in the last year, especially with my time spent in Greece. An excellent collection really uplifts me. It was fated then, that at the gallery they had around five Cézannes. I could take what Rilke said about Cézanne’s use of colour and examine the work closely while still fresh in my mind. I actually gasped out loud when I saw they had two Fantin-Latours. I got in trouble for taking a photo of a Klimt.
The weather was just bad the entire week, so my bed was calling. I invited a friend to come over and texted her, “It’s too early to sit in the living room, you’ll have to get into bed with me.” I had just finished watching Uptown Girls for the first time in years. I didn’t realize it was so moving, Brittany Murphy’s character has so much texture and depth. Also, the birthday party dress she wears had me searching for vintage Blumarine dresses.
Sartorially, I’ve made a conscious decision to wear more red. I opened a few packages from Poshmark that were a couple vintage red dresses that I purchased on a whim. I always have to get things taken in and the bag of items sitting in my closet is only growing. The two songs I’ve been listening to when I get home after quite a number of martinis is Romy Mars—“A-lister” and Patti Page—”Old Cape Cod.” Women contain multitudes, etc. By the end of the week I was halfway through James Baldwin’s Giovanni’s Room, which matched my mood perfectly. “I can see her, very elegant, tense, and glittering, surrounded by the light which fills the salon of the ocean liner, drinking rather too fast, and laughing, watching the men. That was how I met her, in a bar in Saint-Germain-des-Pres, she was drinking and watching, and that was why I liked her, I thought she would be fun to have fun with.” Summer is coming and I can feel a chaos stirring within, I apologize ahead of time if you find yourself in my path!
You can find Marlowe on Instagram and you should immediately subscribe to her newsletter,
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i am also the proud owner two tvs, in my miniscule ny apartment